Christmas cardboard boxes

LI’L DIVA: “It’s on this website.” (Clickty-clickty click.)

ME: “It’s a mannequin. … That costs $199!”

LI’L DIVA: “Yes! I’ll put my clothes on it so I can figure out what to wear to school.”

ME: “You already have that in the deluxe two-piece model. It’s called a body and a mirror.”

My son, however, is far more practical.

He started his Christmas list with a few must-have items. This year it’s all things Beyblades, which regardless of the obviously opium-induced storyline behind them, are simply metal tops. You spin them in a stadium (A thin plastic bowl. Only $9.99. While supplies last!) until one knocks over the other. Well, it’s no dress form.

Then, over Thanksgiving weekend, he padded this list by scouring the kilos of sale ads retailers had stuffed into the newspapers. I know this because when questioned why certain items had made the cut, his reasons consisted of “Idunno, ” “looks cool” and “it’s on sale at Target.”

I can’t blame him. I essentially did the same thing at his age with the toy section of the Sears catalog. I figured The Jolly Round Man in Red owed me something good from these pages as reward for the hours I had spent throughout the year waiting at the pick-up counter of the local outlet with my mother while minimum-wage clerks dug out our order of fitted sheets or butt-chaffing ToughSkins jeans.

However, tucked into this mishmash of random wishes on my son’s list this year was one simple item that made me all weepy. And I quote: “A big empty box.”

Ah. The big empty box. Possibly the greatest and most malleable of all childhood toys. Not to mention, the cheapest. I had many while growing up. Those were often procured, by my mom’s request, from the stockroom of the local A&P after those magic brown cubes had valiantly protected a different kind of butt-chaffing item — individual rolls of Scott toilet paper in shades of pink, green or whatever pastel color matched your groovy `70s shag toilet seat cover.

“This is awesome!” I said to my wife as I showed her our son’s Christmas list. My mind whirled with the possibilities he might have in store for this gift.

• Small White cardboard boxes
• Extra long cardboard boxes
• Decorating cardboard boxes
• Kraft cardboard boxes
• Very small cardboard boxes